Everyone yearns to be happy regardless of where you were born – it’s a universal longing – it’s innate. So who is responsible for our happiness or our positivity?
I recently travelled to Bali from New York City with 14 family members — 6 of who were young adults. We had daily conversations with the young people about the need to ‘get a good education’ – and tried to figure out what that meant. We pondered what determined a successful life. We discussed the high statistics on depression in college students and worried whether this would impact our kids.
We debated the meaning and value of character and well-being and talked extensively about the amount of pressure parents put on their kids to succeed – telling them “we only want you to be happy” — yet succeeding to them ‘really’ meant getting top grades, getting into a top university and landing a well paying job.
At the crux of the debate with the young adults they confirmed that their happiness and their social and emotional well-being were the most important ‘things’ they wanted to achieve in life. Yes, they wanted to succeed academically, but not at the expense of their well-being, joy and a meaningful life. We concluded that the responsibility for delivering happiness and positivity should be a team effort – it should not rest solely with schools. It should begin in schools, as early as Pre-K but should be pervasive in all aspects and stages of a life – in college, at work, at home, in our community and in the tools we use for daily living.
Some ideas/dreams we pondered:
SCHOOLS/COLLEGES
Numerous studies have shown that the greatest predictors of life satisfaction in adulthood come from “childhood emotional health and kind, helpful behavior.” Currently a significant number of schools in the US are engaged in positive education – which according to the Novo Foundation is “the teaching of scientifically validated programs from positive psychology and character education that have an impact on student and staff well-being – an approach that focuses on teaching, building and embedding social and emotional learning throughout a student’s experience.”
Education director of the Greater Good Science Center, Vicki Zakrzewski and Peter Brunn argue that we should be teaching young people that success in life and achieving happiness isn’t just about getting a job, but about living a meaningful life. They say that to do this, educators should promote students’ emotional health by making connections between what students are learning and their future work goals and lives.
I believe we are on the right track in the field of education and would hope that more and more these courses/programs are taught throughout the education life cycle of a student – from Pre-K to University.
WORK
Businesses could create the type of culture and climate where individuals can continue to nurture their own happiness, to pursue their positivity and happiness – so that workplaces become the places where on going training and refresher courses, workshops and business conferences, continually stress the importance of character, well-being and joy in our everyday lives.
HOME
Studies have shown that parenting is challenging, meaningful, and rewarding all at the same time. As such parents must become vigilant about their own self –care, keeping their psychological stresses down so that they can find the energy to teach their children how to develop their character, how to be positive and how to deepen their sense of purpose in life.
Parents could use the positive messages of cultural icons, cultural events, music that their kids love and are already engaged with to reinforce and support their beliefs of how they can live lives that are meaningful, emotionally and socially satisfying and joyful.
COMMUNITY
Develop a Community “Character Building Network” (CBN). The CBN would have alliances with the Federal, State and Local governments in a coordinated effort to develop an index for happiness. As a part of this effort, a Character Day, which would be a national holiday, would be named. On this day people would engage in undertaking “Character Services”.
The message would be re-enforced by character building and awareness marketing campaigns – presented on Billboards, TV, Videos, Newspapers, Magazines, Social Media. This should be coordinate effort with schools, businesses and individuals.
CONCLUSION
In the ever-changing context of our world, we must anchor school education, home training, community building and workplace practices in the fundamentals of our humanity – that we are not only thinking but also feeling beings, stronger when our natures are integrated and whole. Intentional social and emotional learning (SEL) practice and programs hold the promise of stronger skills and steadier dispositions with which to successfully face the challenges of modern life. A now substantial body of research confirms what we all intuitively know to be true: paying attention to social and emotional factors of human development, and providing lifelong nurturing, supportive environments for that growth, are directly linked to positive outcomes.
The urgent time to reimagine the way we educate the world’s children so that they can become healthy, happy, productive and contributing adults, living meaningful lives, is now.
OTHER RESOURCES
BOOKS
Two very important books on character were released in 2015: The Return on Character and Proof of Character are both worth reading.
FREE ONLINE COURSES AND APPS
Use Meditation and Well-Being Apps and Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) online tools to boost happiness.
There are numerous Apps, free online SEL tools and happiness classes designed to assess and enhance one’s well-being, which can be used by parents, teachers, students, caregivers and individuals. This is a great way to learn science-based principles and practices for a happy, meaningful life.
