I have a certain way of seeing people. I run them through my internal dialogue and out pops my perspective. There are times when my perspective stems from how I was brought up, my belief systems, or my experiences in life – things people do. Unfortunately, I also have to add insecurities to the list of the origination of my perspectives. When my perspective stems from my insecurities, get ready for totally delusional thought patterns where deductive reasoning, any reasoning at all, flies straight out the window.
It’s not something I want to readily admit, that the way I see things is clouded by my insecurities, or fears. I pride myself on being a rational person, one who values facts. But when I dig really deep, I realize what I see, my perception, is sometimes based on my baggage from whichever story of the month I am telling myself. And do I have baggage to shape my stories!
So where should I start with insecurities that cloud my thinking/my perspective? Oh, I’ve got a big one. My parenting insecurity. Whatever happens with my child is filtered through my internal dialogue. Am I being a good parent? Am I doing it right? Am I going to mess up my child? That’s the dialogue I have deep down. I am constantly agonizing about how I am doing as a parent.
And if my perspective is not being shaped by my insecurities, I may take my preconceived notions for a spin. Where what I see, what I perceive, is preset. The story that runs in my head dictates what I see, dictates my actions. I go into a situation already expecting something, already filled with assumptions.
I have a plan of action: I have got to get new stories, great thoughts to filter my stories through. Like how awesome I am! How capable I am in general, and as a parent – you know, positive things, positive beautiful thoughts. Or, how many great people are in this world!
And I am going to abandon preconceived notions. My new thing is called – in the moment perception. This is where my perspective is not tainted with what happened, or what may happen, it’s filled with what is happening now. So that’s what drives my understanding/perception of the present moment is the present moment.
I will see how that works out!
