JUST SAY IT
May 21, 2016
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By Dawn Moulton
As I get older, I am recognizing that on my journey of seeking love, peace and harmony, there are times when I don't communicate well at all. I try to avoid things or call it picking my battle or simply say, I don't want to deal with it. But, for my mental health, I don't have that luxury because whether I choose to deal with "it," or not, somehow "it" ends up dealing with me. Unresolved issues have a way of seeping out when I least expect them. So, I am an advocate of- rock the boat, tip the boat over- in other words, "just say it." Why just say it? Because sometimes we need to get things off our chest instead of them having the internal volcano effect. Case in point, I know a woman in her fifties who is scared to have a conversation with her mom about who her real father is because the person she was told doesn't add up. She thinks it's not the kind of conversation you should have with your mother. I think, if not her, then who? Why just say it? Because sometimes we tell ourselves stories that may be very different from what is actually happening. Here is an example of one of those times. My son is responsible for taking out the garbage. Week after week I "corrected," without him seeing me, the way he placed the handle of the garbage bin. In my mind, to help the garbage collectors, the handle should face the street so they can grab it easily. I am thinking to myself, why doesn't he pay attention, be more considerate? I eventually asked him why he didn't place the.....read more
Acceptance
April 26, 2016
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By Dawn Moulton
Acceptance, what a painful thing that can be sometimes. Pretty easy to accept the things we like but what about the things we don't like? I talk to myself- asking- how can I not accept a fact? That doesn't sound rational. A fact is a fact, it doesn't change because I don't accept it. Yet, accepting what is --- is not as easy as it sounds. I saw a definition of acceptance as "a person's assent to the reality of a situation." I am surprised how many times I choose not to deal with my reality. Usually I have many reasons to choose from when I don't accept the reality of a situation, when I don’t accept a fact: I don't agree with it, it's not what I want to happen I want the fact to change I want someone to change I don't like what happened or what happened is unfair Or, I choose not to accept the fact because it easier to do, than accept my inability to control what happened. I am so caught up in emotions, that accepting what is, is not an option --- it’s not on my mind. Rationality often takes a back seat to my emotions; my viewpoint about the fact gets in the way of my accepting it. Nine times out of ten, the pain of non-acceptance causes me the most pain. For example, I get stuck in traffic and I am going to be late. I hate being late. I react as if I can scream at the traffic and somehow miraculously, the traffic will clear. If I clench the steering wheel, give it a couple pounds, say I can't believe this is happening enough times, maybe the traffic.....read more
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