PARENTING -Part 2
November 16, 2016
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By Dawn C. Moulton
PARENTING  - Part 2 And the person I have given birth to made me see myself in ways I never knew existed. Here is this person I am supposed to love unconditionally yet I have used guilt, anger, shouting and other controlling ways to get my child to do what I want him to do. When I couldn't think of other ways to get him to comply, there was always "because I said so," even though the parenting class and the book I read while he was in 8th grade, and myself, said that phrase was a definite no no. So, looking back, as my son is getting ready to go off to college, here is the biggest the lesson I have learned. My left over emotional baggage, known and unknown, crept out at unexpected times to shape the relationship I care about most in this world, the one with my son. My baggage didn't go away, just because I had a child; my baggage didn't go away because I am seeking to love my child unconditionally. I think too many times we see our children as a way to start over our lives, a clean slate, a way to get and give love, a notion of finding that one great true loving relationship, but the reality is there is no starting over, we start from where we are. And if we are unhealthy in our relationship with ourselves and others, that follows us into parenthood no matter how much we don't want it to. Ok, enough of that stuff, here is the rest of what I learned/am learning. Values do not change, we have to instill them even when we seem like the odd ball - when they are.....read more
PARENTING -Part 1
October 29, 2016
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By Dawn C. Moulton
I have said it before and I will say it again: parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. I found out I was pregnant at 35 years old. By then, I had resigned myself to not giving birth to a child because it was way past my initial idea ‘to have 4 children by the time I was 30’. After I found out I was pregnant, I bought "the" book about pregnancy and another to get a different perspective. I changed my diet to eating healthy, no alcohol, no junk food, no caffeine, except I couldn't get away from chocolate, I would still indulge now and then. I sang to the baby inside me, his father talked to my tummy and in the end we had a wonderful boy. And, then came parenthood. When my son was an infant and a toddler, parenting was a breeze. My son, hands down, had me at my best. I cared for this little precious thing with patience and love. There was only one time, he was less than 2 years old, when I even recall having a sense of frustration from giving all of myself: I let out an almost guttural sound that was so deep within me it forced me to acknowledge that taking care of a toddler requires a lot. The first significant change to my parenthood came when my son was almost 3. I decided it was time for him to interact with other people on a daily basis. I chose a Montessori school; I hoped it would teach him enough independence to withstand my helicopter mom ways. During his first 3 years, I would run to his beck and call, and prevent him from doing anything that may.....read more
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