Saying Goodbye To Guilt
Recently, I have been having a conversation with myself about guilt. I recognize if I feel guilty that means I am sorry. Right? When I do something wrong and feel guilty about it, that shows remorse, a conscience. That’s a good thing. Right? But, how sorry do I have to be? Do I have to be sorry, and sorry, and sorry and sorry some more for the same thing? How long do I have to feel guilty? What benefit does guilt serve after the initial feeling?
Guilt reminds me of a car. Yes, a car. A car is new once. That’s when we feel it’s so valuable. Feeling guilt initially, that’s like a new car, it has all the bell and whistles of a needed lesson. When you drive a new car off the lot they say the value takes an immediate hit. Unlike guilt, a car serves some useful purpose after it’s no longer new, it gets you from place to place. Guilt, however, after it’s new, its return is so diminished, it diminishes self, it takes you no place useful. Old guilt is like a car stuck in the mud, tires spinning over and over in the same spot, serving no useful purpose but to trample what’s underneath and dig you deeper into a hole.
When I keep feeling sorry for the same thing, over and over again, it’s like I reach inside my mind, my spirit (eventually my body) and attack myself. I don’t know about you, but guilt can break me down, wear me out, make me feel unworthy, unloveable. It becomes my whipping post. It tries to hang on for dear life around my neck and choke the joy out of me. It wants me to feel bad, real bad, all the time. Not just bad about what I did but about me as a person. Guilt tries to ignore every good quality I have because of what I did. How is that healthy?
It’s insane, that’s what it is, yet I have been known to partake in that insanity quite a bit. So that’s it- I am reprogramming my mind. I will feel guilt once, learn from it, and move on in my journey of becoming a better person. Guilt will be a lesson, not a whip. Goodbye to feeling guilty over and over again for the same thing. Once I have done some thing wrong and I have apologized, instead of constantly kicking myself about it, I will focus on not doing it again. Goodbye to feeling unworthy, after I have done what I can to make amends, my feelings of remorse will not get replaced with me destroying me. After my initial feeling of remorse, maybe I will sing this song “guilt, guilt, go away, don’t come back another day.” Or this one, “guilt, what is it good for, absolutely nothing. Say it again.” No, no, this is the song, “I’m going to wash that guilt right out of my hair and send it on it’s way.” One way or the other, I am changing my relationship with guilt.