UNLIMITED POTENTIAL
Unlimited Potential
All posts by Shirley
COURAGE
WHAT BARBARA IS REALLY TEACHING US – BE BRAVE
Barbara Walters is using her megaphone to tell us something important. Can we hear her? Is she breaking through our armor of modern culture and personal regret to pierce our hearts? Does she fully realize how important it is and why now is the right time to say it, again, with feeling?!
“I was so busy with a career. It’s the age-old problem,” Walters, 84, said in an interview that will air on the upcoming ABC News special, “Barbara Walters: Her Story.” “And, you know, on your deathbed, are you going to say, ‘I wish I spent more time in the office?’ No. You’ll say, ‘I wish I spent more time with my family,’ and I do feel that way. I wish I had spent more time with my Jackie.” – Laura Effron via Good Morning America
Her comments are making news now, but there is nothing really new here. The age old problem is “Sophie’s choice“: your career (=you) or your kid. Neither are her comments a sudden revelation in this family. There has been plenty of struggle for both Barbara and Jackie, especially during the teenage years.
Barbara Walters has had an incredible career spanning ~56 years. Her story as a mother reads like so many powerful women who leaned in. Several miscarriages. Finally got her baby (adopted in this case). No maternity leave. Lots of outsourcing. Plenty of money to pay for the best. Fame, influence, kudos, accolades, awards galore. What are we to do with her regret? Do we chalk it up to choice again, and congratulate ourselves that we made the right one (or worry or hope or fear or get angry…if we’re not sure).
56 years of career.
5 years of early childhood.
That’s 9% of Barbara’s career, but 100% of the critical period when so much was set in motion for Jackie’s emotional wellbeing, her parents’ identity as parents (not just moms), and their lifelong relationship. Parents open the bank of empathy for their children in early childhood, a bank which sets them up to deposit or withdraw from others personally and professionally for the rest of their lives.
We have research out the wazoo on what children need in this critical period of 0-5 years, and so much of it comes down to something that we’ve known all along: love, given by the people so blessed to parent a child in this world. The inconvenient truth is that love takes time. How much time? Well, my toddler daughter told me (while on my knees in my closet a decade ago), “I’m okay if you’re gone a day a week; I’m not okay if you’re gone more.” Whaaaa?!!!!! That would surely have ended Barbara’s career.
But did it end mine? No. So many of us – men and women alike- have the technology we need now to work around giving children what they need in early childhood, as well as making breakfast, packing lunch, meeting young kids getting off a bus, having family dinner, or being around in case teenagers decide to talk. Entrepreneurship was my out. Intrapraneurship can be too, if organizations realize the value of taking it.
I’m much luckier than Barbara Walters. I’m also luckier than Barbara Acho, who faced a choice with a baby Jackie in 1968. She stayed home. Were my brother and I all she needed to feel fulfilled? No. My mother went back to school when I was 13 and has had a flourishing career as a therapist ever since. My mom is not a perfect mother or professional; there is no such thing. But she was brave. Brave enough to chart a path that was unexpected, to do her best to give her children what they needed and channel her God-given talents into trying to make the world a better place. Don’t get me wrong. She was scared – of failing her kids, her potential, or both. But that is exactly why she had to be brave.
Sophie’s choice is a false dichotomy which values neither children nor women (not to mention leaving fathers out of the picture completely!). We can be braver than that.
That is what Barbara taught me.
Happy Birthday Mom. Love you, Jackie
Jenny Douglas
Jenny, a life-long learner and seeker, is the founder and curator of The Brooklyn Cottage, an incubator and lab for unleashing our most wildly creative and unafraid selves–in the presence of each other.
Divorced five years ago, Jenny lives in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn with her two teen daughters and their dog and cat. She is a graduate of Sarah Lawrence College and the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.
Love No Matter What: The dignity and worth of all human beings
Love No Matter What: The Dignity And Worth Of All Human Beings
Every person has a family member who is either:
- Mentally ill
- Autistic
- Deaf
- Transgendered
- Disabled
- Down's Syndrome
- A Criminal
- A Dwarf
- A Prodigy
- Conceived from rape
"It's the family secret that everybody shares," says award-winning writer Andrew Solomon.
No one has thought or written more about the dignity and worth of all human beings than Solomon. He spent eleven years interviewing hundreds of families, exploring how they grew stronger or fell apart while coping with raising children who were profoundly different. He wanted to understand and share how parents deal with raising a child who isn't what they expected him or her to be.
What he discovered is revealed in twelve astonishingly acute, riveting and compassionate chapters of his latest book, Far From the Tree. In it, Solomon shares stories of children who have been heartbreakingly tragic victims of intense prejudices - and also stories of parents who have embraced their children's differences and tried to alter the world's understanding of their conditions.
Solomon is a man who understands and has had experience with mental illness and depression and as a gay man, knows a bit about being rejected because you are 'different'. This phenomenally brilliant writer and master storyteller will help us understand the dignity and worth of all individuals, the unconditional love of parents for their children, and the desire for all humans to be valued as individuals. He will teach us how to love the people in our lives who are different -- no matter what!
This conversation and fund-raising event is on Veterans Day. This day was chosen to also highlight and discuss the mental well-being of veterans returning from war. Across the country, nearly 60 million American live with mental illness and each day over 23 veterans commit suicide. These statistics are frightening and "sadly underscore the urgent need for a sustained, national effort to ensure all our vets get the care and support they deserve," says Paul Rieckhoff, CEO and founder of the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America.
A charitable donation will be made to Iraq Afghanistan Veterans of America and National Alliance on Mental Illness from proceeds from the event.
"People don't talk about mental health issues or mental illness because of the shame and brokenness surrounding the topic" - Rebecca Thiegs
Re-educates us on addiction and drug users and shares his new book high price
Re-educates us on Addiction and Drug Users and shares his new book High Price
Addiction is an epidemic that's affecting all layers of American society. More than 100 people die from overdoses every day -- it's the leading cause of accidental death in the U.S. -- more than traffic fatalities. Every family in America is impacted by this but do we truly understand the nature of this epidemic and the profile of drug users?
We hold many stereotypes about what drug addiction is like, and what the users are like. Addiction can exist in people's lives that are very accomplished and very educated. The stereotypes usually don't match reality. Dr. Carl Hart, an Associate Professor in the departments of Psychology and Psychiatry at Columbia University has written a book, High Price: A Neuroscientist's Journey of Self-Discovery That Challenges Everything You Know About Drugs and Society, based on 22 years of research as a groundbreaking neuropsychopharmacologist about the science of drug addiction.
He asks us to get our facts right about drugs and drug use and believes that dispelling some of the myths and stereotypes, may help us effectively fight our drug problems through re-education and effective drug policies.
Did you know that:
- More than 20 million Americans use illegal drugs regularly
- 85% of drug users are not addicted
- Around half of all people with drug addictions are employed full time
- A huge proportion of people having difficulties with prescription drugs are women
"Much of what we are doing in terms of drug education, treatment, and public policy is inconsistent with scientific data." – Dr. Carl Hart
An evening in conversation
An evening in conversation with Kevin Roberts
If you are a leader under enormous pressure, totally committed, intensely driven, highly intelligent and at times utterly miserable, don't miss this conversation... come CONNECT and be INSPIRED by Kevin Roberts.
He will share:
He will share:
- What the recent financial 'meltdown' is really teaching us
- Ways to evolve your brand into a 'lovemark' that people adore
- How businesses can work from values that are truly sustainable
- The importance of creating a culture of commitment and care
- How to unleash 'good instincts', creativity and passion in your businesses
- Why it's essential to talk about Love in business in these times of unprecedented complexity
"Businesses have become the most powerful and influential institutions on the earth, rivaling any government or nation state. But public distrust of business is at an historic high; many employees and customers are disconnected from the companies they work for or buy from; suppliers feel squeezed; communities often organize to keep certain businesses out. With overworked employees and burnt-out executives, it is no surprise that there are calls for Love to have a greater place in our lives, in business and work."
My stroke of insight
My Stroke of Insight
"Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions -- motion, speech, self-awareness -- shut down one by one. An astonishing story."
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist. Her brother’s brain disorder and schizophrenia led Dr. Taylor to dedicate her career to studying severe mental illnesses. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist’s Personal Journey. Dr. Taylor gave a presentation at the TED Conference, which has been watched by over ten million and has become the most viewed TED Talk to date. She was chosen as one of TIME Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the World.
Dr. Taylor was the premiere guest on Oprah's Soul Series webcast and was interviewed by Oprah and Dr. Oz on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She's now an artist as well as a scientist, creating anatomically correct stained-glass replicas of brains that are sold as fine art and also travels the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank as the "Singin' Scientist.” Dr. Taylor is an adjunct lecturer at the Indiana University School of Medicine.
why attend:
- Learn how to get your brain to do what you want it to do.
- Learn who is who inside of you.
- Learn to access the right brain and improve the quality of your life.
- Learn new tools for your own personal empowerment.
- Experience a powerful story of the resilience of the human spirit.
"How many brain scientists have been able to study the brain from the inside out? I've gotten as much out of this experience of losing my left mind as I have in my entire academic career." - Jill Bolte Taylor
A concert and conversation
A concert and conversation with Peter Buffett
You may think that with a last name like his, Buffett has enjoyed a life of endless privilege. But the son of billionaire investor Warren Buffett says that the only real inheritance handed down from his parents was a philosophy: forge your own path in life regardless of your circumstances. It is a creed that has allowed him to follow his own passions, establish his own identity, and reap his own successes.
WHY ATTEND:
- A once in a lifetime chance to share this powerful and inspirational evening as a family providing the opportunity for family dialogue on this very important subject.
- Peter will encourage questions from the audience throughout the presentation making it a very intimate and interactive experience.
- He will also sign his inspiring new book, Life Is What You Make It.
"Life is What You Make It: A Concert & Conversation with Peter Buffett" is beyond doubt a must-see! We had the pleasure of hosting Peter's special performance in Portland and all I can say is that Peter is one of the most talented and intriguing people I know. As a musician, he is a moving artist whose magic comes from his ability to combine humor with an open portrayal of his family, his life, his personal beliefs and his powerful music. I'm a huge fan." - Maria Eitel, CEO & President Nike Foundation
Understanding what happens to us after we die – Science meets spirit!
Understanding what happens to us after we die - Science meets Spirit!
Is there life after death? As ancient as time itself, the idea of an afterlife remains at the core of most religions and belief systems, as humans have sought to find meaning and purpose in their existence on this earth-if any at all. Yet, as the world advances and people become increasingly dependent on science and technology, this question has been further argued and debated, as the rationality of scientific theory seems to disprove the very existence of the supernatural realm.
So the age old question remains: Is there life beyond our physical existence? And if so, is it possible to reconcile this "ancient" belief in an afterlife and the supernatural, with belief in the powers of science and medicine? According to Dr. Eben Alexander, the answer to both of these questions is a resounding yes.
Dr. Eben Alexander, a renowned neurosurgeon and former near-death experience skeptic, has examined these questions and more in his New York Times bestselling autobiography Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife. In the book, Dr. Alexander captivates the reader with a real life account of his miraculous recovery from an inexplicable brain infection, and his even more astounding odyssey deep into the spiritual realm during the week that he spent comatose.
This experience seems to defy medical explanation, but Dr. Alexander, who has spent the last two and half years reconciling his rich spiritual experience with his knowledge of modern science, will explore how his journey is remarkably consistent with contemporary scientific understanding. His story offers a crucial key to the understanding of reality and human consciousness and it will have a major effect on how we view spirituality, soul and the non-material realm. He will explain why the symbiotic relationship between science and spirituality is necessary for true health. Through this discussion, we will learn how to probe deeply into our consciousness, so that we can have the power to transcend the limitations of this physical-material realm.
"This powerful story would be remarkable regardless of who went through the experience. That it happened to Dr. Alexander, a leading neurosurgeon, makes it revolutionary."
Committed and Eat, Pray, Love
Committed and Eat, Pray, Love
Elizabeth Gilbert faced down a premidlife crisis by doing what we all secretly dream of – running off for a year to find herself. She got more than she bargained for: she found herself, found love and got committed.
Her travels through Italy, India and Indonesia resulted in the megabestselling and deeply beloved memoir Eat, Pray, Love, about her process of finding herself by leaving home. Eat, Pray, Love has spent over 200 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List, is published in more than thirty languages and has sold over seven million copies.
Her latest book, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage, a somewhat sequel to Eat, Pray, Love, is also a New York Times Best Seller and is a meditation and contemplation of the institution of marriage from a multitude of historical and modern perspectives. It also chronicles how she made peace with marrying again.
Gilbert also owns and runs the import shop Two Buttons in Frenchtown, New Jersey.
WHY ATTEND:
- Learn why creative minds and suffering don't have to be linked.
- Learn how to still live a fulfilled life even if your great success is behind you.
- Learn a different way to think about creative genius.
- Learn about the meaning of marriage & relationships in the 21st century.
- Learn what it means to be a man; how they want to be seen.
"Elizabeth Gilbert is everything you would love in a tour guide, of magical places she has traveled to both deep inside and across the oceans: she's wise, jaunty, human, ethereal, hilarious, heartbreaking, and God, does she pay great attention to the things that really matter." - Anne Lamott
Most people have some judgments about who they are or what they can do or what they can become. These beliefs form a limiting self-image and prevent them from doing the things they really want to do.
The evening's conversation will be lead by 3 friends who did not allow limiting beliefs to stop them from writing a book about murder, food and recipes ... Dr. Donne Kampel and Dr. Sabra Brock both deans at a NYC college, each with extensive scholarly publications, yet love storytelling ... Michael Braff, an important person at a very large NY hospital who loves cooking and baking. They will share how to overcome limiting beliefs and the power of collaboration.
Each attendee will receive a free copy of their book, as each chapter concludes with a recipe of a cited dish or beverage. Come and enjoy an exquisitely prepared 3 course meal with wine.